7 Valuable Tips for Women Raising Their Grandkids

Are you supposed to be headed for retirement, but are now raising your Grandkids? If so, then this article is for you.

Starting over raising Grandkids feels overwhelming. It takes a toll on you mentally and physically.

For me, it all started 10 years ago. My world as I knew it was rocked to its core. The unthinkable happened. My precious child, a mother of two babies developed a Drug Addiction problem. It seemed to happen so fast as if it happened overnight. The reality though, was it had been going on for months. There was no warning or signs of it happening, until it was too far gone, and it appear she changed drastically overnight. The safety and well-being of our Grandbabies was at stake. We had no choice but to take those babies into our home.

It’s not something I planned for, or ever imagined would happen. I don’t believe any of us ever imagined we would be in this position. But here we are, and now we have to do our best to deal with everything that comes along with it.

The road ahead can be frightening and full of uncertainties. These valuable tips may help to smooth out the bumpy path you are now traveling on.

These should be some of the best years of our lives.

• In the beginning it may seem impossible. We are weighed down with burden and extra responsibilities. We may feel too exhausted to do anything for ourselves.

• If we just take it one day at a time to better ourselves and do the things that will help to improve our lives, magical things will start to take place. We start to adapt better to our new lifestyle; we start to feel better about ourselves and we can live the best years of our lives right here and now!

Why are so many Grandparents Raising Grandchildren?

• Often, it’s due to a combination of parental substance abuse. This can lead to abuse and neglect by parents.
• Other reasons such as parental incarceration, mental or physical illness and divorce.
• Teenage pregnancy, child disability, military deployment, abandonment, and death are also on the list of reasons why Grandparents are raising their Grandchildren.
• We must remember that these children will experience challenges of their own. They are more likely to experience emotional and behavioral problems themselves.

7 Tips for Remarkable Women who are raising their Grandkids

Tip 1: Take Care of Yourself

Love and accept yourself for who you are! Keep moving forward each day in a positive way! Somedays are harder than others, just take one step in front of the other, seriously! Taking care of yourself first is not a selfish act. You have one life here and now and to be at your best for all the challenges that life is giving you, you must take care of yourself in all ways. If you are running on empty, then all that you face becomes so much harder to handle.

Here are just a few tips on taking care of yourself. These are things we’ve all been taught and some of them we resist because they are hard to do, or we just don’t feel like doing them, but doing them will have a positive impact in your life. You will feel 10 times better when you take the time for yourself.

• Sleep

We all know how important a good night’s sleep is, but for some of us, a good night’s sleep can be hard to come by. Stress and worry can really mess up our sleep. Sleep can have a huge effect on how we feel both emotionally and physically. Not getting enough good sleep can cause health issues.

How can we sleep better? A few things to keep in mind:

• Try to keep a nighttime routine, by going to bed at the same time.
• Avoid sugary foods and caffeine in the evening.
• Create a restful environment such as quiet, dark and cool room.
• Meditate! If you have a cell phone and headphones, find meditation for sleep on You Tube. This practice can help you manage your stress and worries.

• Eat Healthy

Yeah, I know–I love sweets, pasta and bread too. If we consciously try to eat better, we feel better! We can still eat our favorites within moderation without feeling deprived. Eating better really does make you feel better! It’s a scientifically proven fact. I have tried it and I do feel so much better when I am mostly eating heathier foods. You have more energy and stamina, your focus is clear, and you have just an overwhelming feeling of good health. These are just a few of the benefits you feel when you eat healthier foods.

• Exercise

Here’s another one that might not be too popular–at least not with me. My excuses looked like these: “I don’t have time” “It’s too hard” “I’m too tired “On and on I could go…. My reality though is I’m older now and I have small children to take care of. I must stay healthy and strong so that I can be my best self while raising these kids. The benefits of exercise are great:

• Improves your mood and makes you feel happier
• Boosts your energy
• Helps you sleep better
• Helps your brain health and memory

Walking is great start. Here’s a list of some of the benefits of walking:

• Reduces Stress–just getting out in fresh air helps you think through your problems and release.
• Helps to maintain a healthy weight and builds strength.
• It’s Free!
• Increases Energy
• Improves Sleep

Yoga is an amazing exercise with so many great benefits! Here are just a few of the many benefits Yoga can do for you:

• Yoga improves flexibility, you’ll be amazed how flexible you can become.
• It helps with stress relief!
• Improves mental health!
• Increases your strength.
• Yoga can help reduce anxiety.
• Yoga may improve quality of life.

Tip 2: It’s ok to discipline

One of hardest things for any Grandparent is to discipline their Grandchild. I have a coffee mug given to me years ago that says: “Nanas Motto: Feed them sugar and send them home” I laugh now when I read this. We were never supposed to be in the role as the main disciplinaries. But here we are, having to take on all the responsibilities.

We love our Grandkids! Disciplining them is beneficial for them. It’s not just about consequences when they’ve done something wrong. It’s about training and correcting. It helps them to gain the necessary skills needed to become successful adults. It teaches accountability and self-control so they can be responsible for their actions. We set boundaries and rules for their benefit. It makes them feel stable, valued and safe.

More than likely they may have been in an unstable, unsafe environment before coming to us. With their new environment and new house rules and expectations, they will know how much they are loved and appreciated. One thing we must keep in mind is what they are feeling, what they are going through as their world is shifted. We have to be patient and understanding, and we can’t expect them to be perfect right at the start. Sometimes our grandkids are witnessed to abuse and other traumas. Just the separation alone from their parents has long term effects on them. Discipline is important but taking it slow and steady will benefit all.

Tip 3: Be honest with your Grandkids

Depending on their age, it’s important to be as honest as you can with them. If they are too young to understand their parents actions, and why they are living with you now, giving them details that are too mature for them is not a good thing. As they grow older though, it’s perfectly ok to be honest and upfront with them, but making sure they understand they are still loved by their parents and it’s not their fault their parents aren’t able to care for them right now.

If you have hard feelings towards their parents, try not to let it show in front of them. To them, they still have a mommy or daddy somewhere, and they hope someday they will come back. It’s a heartbreaking thing to experience, and it’s ok to let them hope and dream their parents will be back someday. But just letting them know how much you love them and will care for them in the meantime, they will feel safe and loved. You never know–their parents could be back in their lives someday. It may take years, but it’s a very real possibility. Always hope for the best outcome! Love will always prevail!

Tip 4: Nurture your marriage

This topic should be at the top of the list. That’s how important it is. More than likely both you and your husband have raised your kids and now you are starting over raising your grandkids. If you both are on board with doing it, the better. If not, there might be some tension develop in the marriage. Thankfully for me my husband is a wonderful man who was the first to suggest that we take the kids into our custody. He is and always has been a great support for our family.

As time goes by though, the challenges of raising your grandkids develop. It’s not easy and I fell into a routine of the nurturing grandmother, taking care of the kids all the time and spending all my time with them. As time passed, we realized that our marriage was put on the backburner. We weren’t making any time for just the two of us. This put a bit a strain on our marriage. I didn’t even realize it until my husband brought it up. I was too busy with trying to work and trying to take care of the kids and all the other things life threw at me.

Sometimes you always assume that the other person is just fine. That’s not always the case. It’s so important to have that open line of communication with each other. We both realized that we needed to make the time for just the two of us. We needed to make it a top priority. It’s ok to get a babysitter for a date night or weekend getaway. Nurturing your marriage will bring more happiness and Joy into your life. I’m not a marriage counselor, but we have been married for 40 years now!

Tip 5: Ask for help

Do you have a hard time asking for help? Asking for help is hard and it takes a lot of courage to do it especially is you’re not used to it. It usually means we have to be vulnerable. If you’re like me, you think it would be imposing on people. I’ve learned that asking for help is important.

It also helps in building connections with others. We often feel alone in raising our grandchildren. Friends our age are living a completely different lifestyle. Parents of other children our Grandkids age are so much younger than we are. Finding a balance and asking people for help is tricky. If you have family that can help you that’s a great advantage. My family was always far away. I had to get out of my comfort zone in asking people for help. Getting any kind help is so appreciative! Sometimes we just need that time to ourselves, or time with our spouse even if it’s just for an hour. Here is a great support resource from AARP:

https://www.aarp.org/relationships/friends-family/info-08-2011/grandfamilies-guide-support.html

Tip 6: Negative Emotions are normal–Handle them in a healthy way

Taking on the responsibility of raising your Grandchildren, causes ourselves to have raw emotions. We may feel anger and resentment towards our Grandchildren’s parents. We may feel sad and overwhelmed. Just know that these emotions are normal, and you can get through it. It doesn’t always have to feel this way. Here are a couple ideas to consider:

• Take a step back and become aware of how your negative emotions effect those around you that you love. It’s normal to have these emotions, but we have to be sure they don’t spill onto the innocent ones we care about most.
• It’s important to recognize what triggers our negative emotions so that we can handle them in a healthy way as the rise to the surface. As we feel the frustration coming on, we can mentally take action to diffuse the problem. Take some deep breaths, walk into another room, stretch your body, give yourself some positive self-talk. Find a way to release the frustration and regain calmness again. It will benefit you and everyone around you. As you practice this and become aware of frustration brewing, you will get better and better at taking the steps to remain calm.

Here are some ideas on vibrational energy to help with stress and starting your day off with positive energy. Click the link below.

https://www.kimzspace.com/energy-vibe-higher/

Tip 7: Be prepared for the unexpected

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is a proverbial phrase that we’ve all heard. It’s meaning is to encourage optimism and a positivity in the face of adversity or misfortune. Lemons suggest sourness or difficulty in life. Making Lemonade is turning them into something desirable or good. Raising your Grandkids comes with a whole slew of unexpected events. I won’t get into the specifics of all the things that could happen or change, but I assure you they will arise.

How do you prepare for the unexpected, without always being on guard or worrying every day? You’ve already handled the first unexpected event! You are raising your Grandkids. None of us ever expected that to happen. We have to physically and mentally prepare ourselves by living to our fullest potential. When we are our best versions of ourselves, we are able to handle stress more efficiently, we become Resilient. Which mean we have the ability to regain or maintain a positive outlook and persevere in the face of challenge and adversity!

Conclusion

• Raising our Grandkids can be one the most challenges things we will ever do, but it is also one the most rewarding things we can do in our lives. We get to make an impact on the lives of children who have been dealt with an unfortunate heartbreaking situation.
• It’s important that we do all we can for ourselves in order to overcome stress and anxiety so that we can live happy healthy lives and live our life to its fullest potential!
• If you found this article to be helpful, I would love it if you would share it! Also, there’s a great freebie on my blog. Three worksheets to help conquer your day, with goal setting, daily planning, and fun colorful checklist.